The Tumultuous Journey of One Brave, Brave Space-Penguin

Hi! I just got out of the miraculous shower and I feel funky freshtastastic! So whats up each and every one of you? I hope everything is because that would just be delightful!

Here is the diary of a Space-Penguin traveling around the galaxy in 10 days:

Day 1: I wonder how I am even surviving floating in space with no apparent survival apparatus. Can I really travel the entire Milky frickin' way galaxy in only 10 frickin' days?!? I highly doubt such things. I hope I see Saturn!

Day 2: Y'know, a lot of times in my life I have cursed the big ol' G man for not giving us black and white supposed "avian" creature the darned gift of flight, but in this particular journey, I can honestly say that it would probably cause more trouble than it's worth. Just a thought.

Day 3: Today I was taking a nice long leisurely stroll along the ring of Saturn (Yes, Saturn! Exciting!) and I noticed a far off rotating dot in the distant sky, space, or what have you. And so I approached it. Turns out, it was my best bud Kevin from back home. He's a Koala. True story.

Day 4: Space is boring. Kevin says hi.

Day 5: I shot Kevin. Don't ask. He fucking deserved it.

Day 6: I hope these last 4 days go quick because my supply of granola bars is rapidly diminishing. I hope there's a farmer's market somewhere up here.

Day 7: No farmer's market. Might eat Kevin.

Day 8: Koala meat is quite the delicious meal. No, I kid. I'm not a fucking animal! Oh wait...

On second thought, he does look kind of like he tastes like peanut butter. Where's that jelly tasting Hippo when yo need him? Am I right?

Day 9: Going home tomorrow. I met a martian today! He stole Kevin's body, which for some reason I was keeping.

Day 10: Home-bound! I'm gonna eat a PB&J and avoid my neighbors, Kevin's wife and children. *Sigh*

I hope you liked that!

R.I.P. Kevin Mortimer Pralene III