The Greatest Treasure of Yeekabaka

My computer is running on reserve battery power so I'm gonna try to get this in quick. Hello, how are you? I hope you're good because that would be great! So what else is going on, seen any good movies lately? I have not, but I hope you have. Y'know, to keep my computer going for a few more minutes I'll turn the brightness way down.... Oh man, now I can barely see any of this now that that's the opposite of a bonus... What's the opposite of a bonus? A downus? It's a real downus. One day the king of the Seahorses was swimming his merry way along the seashore when he noticed a far off shiny object, so naturally he approached it. Upon ultimate arrival he realized that the aforementioned shiny pice of novelty was in fact a powerful diamond form the planet Yeekabaka, (I can't even begin to explain how he knew that) which is a very important artifact of importance, so he picked it up, telekinetically of course, and whisked it away to bring it to the leader of the Finders In Nefarious Dealings (or FIND) for further examination. Once Fred of FIND had fully and completely looked it over, he decided that FIND should keep in their custody for safe-keeping (Keep in mind what the N stands for). The King respectfully agreed and went home to his usual dinner of pea soup and Coke-a-Cola Zero. But Fred was up to a lot more than just safe-keeping, he was prepared to harness the diamond and take over the world, Fred was really into clichés so he saw this as the only option. But before the fearless leader of FIND could execute his plan, a lowly secretary of FIND had had enough with being bossed around and made fun of by all his co-workers so he went right up to Fred and punched him square in the face, knocking Fred unconscious. Fred was left incapacitated so long that the diamond vanished, a regular thing for these sort of special objects to do without attention. And Fred rued the day he ever was indecent to a lowly lower-management.

Good day!