Thank Superman!

Hello? Hello?!? HELLO?!? H-E-L-L-O!?!?!?! Oh there you are, thank god. Y'know what? I'm gonna start saying something different than that because I don't really believe in that guy, the big G-O-D. How about... Superman? I love that guy and he deserves a thanks or an oh my every now and then. Or how about Dumbledore? That might work quite well too. Y'know what? I'll make a deal with you, and a great deal it shall be. How about when the time arises to mention the big bearded guy in the sky (Rhyme! That's lovely.) I shall replace whichever of the 2 names feel right at the time. So let's try it out in some situations. Situation 1: I'm walking along a long, chrome, empty corridor reminiscing about times gone by when suddenly the precious ground on which I stand transforms into a trap-door. And I start falling, and when I say falling, I mean falling. Big time. So after about an hour of this illustrious falling I decide that it's about safe enough for me to look down and completely assess this sticky situation. And as I glance toward the black hole that is my seemingly endless fate, I realize something that truly strikes a match of fear in my never-before-been-scared stomach. I could fall forever. Like forever forever. That would not be good. I also consider the theory that I could just be floating in one place and had never been falling in the first place. That is chillingly claustrophobic. So I say to myself, "Self, you can't just sit here singing the theme song to Rocket Power for all of eternity, you need to focus, and get your darn self out of this perplexing predicament. Ooh, nice alliteration. Thanks, you're too kind. So I decide to stop thinking that the thing I'm doing is falling and start thinking that the thing I am doing is landing. And suddenly, like magic, the endless vortex becomes a cloud, high above a mass metropolis. And I say, "Oh my Dumbledore!"

How was that? I think it might work. And now on to situation 2: I'm painting a giant castle whilst standing on a 78.5 feet latter, and the darned thing starts to waver. Out of sheer panic I start to swipe my arms in circles to catch my balance. Does that even work? People always do it but I'm not sure it ever does anything. So the frantically wavering latter suddenly sustains stability again. Miraculous, I know. And so I say "Thank Superman!"

That one worked pretty dandy too. I think I'll start using these as replacements.

Farewell.
Oli