Idiomtastic!

Hello! Is anyone else as monumentally and mind-blowingly as tired as I am? I hope not.

So on this fine evening I shall list some common sayings and add my own little commentary to them. And I'm gonna be as literal as possible so that's wonderful. Sound fun? I think so.

"A picture paints a thousand words" - On second thought, I shouldn't have started with this one seeing as it's one of the rare ones that actually make sense to me, but on second, second thought, it is worded in a way that makes me think of a thousand words painted on a canvas. I wonder what words are on there? I hope "googlethorp" because that is a fantastical word. Actually, on fourth thought, I don't think that is a real word.

"A chip on your shoulder" - A poker chip? A potato chip? An ice chip? I hope it's an ice chip, those are fucking great! *Yay! One point for first blog curse word!*

Referring to something as "A cake walk" - I have no idea what this means but I imagine it's something like a marathon where every few yards or so you are rewarded with cake. How does one go about finding a sign-up sheet for this?

"Apple of my eye" - An Apple is much larger than an eye-socket. An eye-socket is quite smaller than an Apple. I sense a dilemma.

"A piece of cake" - How come these saying and expressions are obsessed with cake? Well on fifth thought, everyone loves cake, why shouldn't they be allowed to be obsessed with cake? How dare you judge them for liking such a delicious treat! You sicken me.

"Back to the drawing board" - Only artists should say this, anyone else should be ashamed to. Too harsh? I think not.

"A cup o' Joe" - I wonder if the guy who invented coffee's name was Joe Smith or John Joe or Joe Joe.

"Dark horse" - I don't know what this one means but I love it. I shall go look it up.

"Dropping like flies" - Do flies die easily? I don't think so... perplexing.

"Over my dead body" - That's just plain morbid. People shouldn't say that.

Okay, now I shall stop. I feel like this could drag on and on. Imagine this: *5 years later: Me, sitting in the same place, looking aged 5 years with an extremely long white beard. "Hmm, raining cats and dogs, that's a good one!"* Okay, now you can stop imagining it.

Well, goodbye now, hope to see you soon!