Hello! The sortable diction of the press is far more surmountable than any other junction pertaining to the former when evaluating the uniqueness of a winner and the bluntness of a loser.
Yes, so that's that.
Okay. Let's imagine this: A human-like creature that stands at 3 and a half feet short with illuminated green skin pigment. He carries a knapsack filled with orbs made of crystal and his voice is rather squeaky. He speaks in a dialect that sounds part swift Russian, and part modern day text language. He wears an electric blue bowler hat with two unearthly feather-like objects sticking out the brim. He has sad eyes but a beaming smile. He is eating a yellow cupcake.
Now, what shall we dub this peculiar creature?
Mortimer? Morty and/or Mort for short?
Mordecai? Eh, that's a little similar to that last suggestion. Let's stray from M for now, yeah?
Serpentine Klemin the bold and brave? Nah, too wordy.
Lazaris? No... he isn't the byproduct of a 1960's hippie and a medieval elf... Or is he?
How about something with a Z... Zade, or maybe Zorm... Yepp, Zade it is.
Let's rejoice. I think he likes to bake peanut butter cookies on the weekends.
...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Shmegag!
So today, this glorious glorious day, I am going to ask myself a very simple question or two and then try try to give the most long-winded answer I can manage. Here we go!
Oli sir, what art thou's favorite color?
Well, that is a very intriguing and intricate question my dear questioner, are we just considering the simple rainbow or perhaps going deep into the fantastical colors thought up by the master brains at Crayola? Let's keep it simple. Folks, let's review: There's that dastardly Red, the first, most pompous hue, then Orange, too bright for my taste but the correlating fruit is quite a delicious little shmegag. Wouldn't you so cleverly agree? I bet a thousand galleons that you would. Then yellow, I just don't get that tool, but I guess it's kinda cool sometimes if you're into that kinda thing. Green, so wonderful you are, let's hangout sometime soon. Blue, aw man, you're one class act sir. Purple, so charismatic you are! Kudos to you! Now that we have reviewed thoroughly enough, let's consider what the genders of these colors might be.... Red is definitely male. The jock type. Dates that bimbo Pink. Orange is the sensitive musician guy, is in a serious relationship with the neo-hippie, clothes making Yellow. Green is the smart, studious, honors student who is secretly having an affair with her math teacher, Off-White. Blue is the quirky writer who listens to music that no one else really understands and is harboring a secret crush on Turquoise. Purple is the sasstastic, outspoken, brutally honest girl who only has a couple, equally intimidating friends. But anywho, to answer your question I have thoroughly and deeply considered it and have finally chosen... Blue.
What's a way you would like to say goodbye?
Good day, see you later, until next time, on the morrow, au revoir, toodaloo, I'm leaving for now, goodbye...
Oli sir, what art thou's favorite color?
Well, that is a very intriguing and intricate question my dear questioner, are we just considering the simple rainbow or perhaps going deep into the fantastical colors thought up by the master brains at Crayola? Let's keep it simple. Folks, let's review: There's that dastardly Red, the first, most pompous hue, then Orange, too bright for my taste but the correlating fruit is quite a delicious little shmegag. Wouldn't you so cleverly agree? I bet a thousand galleons that you would. Then yellow, I just don't get that tool, but I guess it's kinda cool sometimes if you're into that kinda thing. Green, so wonderful you are, let's hangout sometime soon. Blue, aw man, you're one class act sir. Purple, so charismatic you are! Kudos to you! Now that we have reviewed thoroughly enough, let's consider what the genders of these colors might be.... Red is definitely male. The jock type. Dates that bimbo Pink. Orange is the sensitive musician guy, is in a serious relationship with the neo-hippie, clothes making Yellow. Green is the smart, studious, honors student who is secretly having an affair with her math teacher, Off-White. Blue is the quirky writer who listens to music that no one else really understands and is harboring a secret crush on Turquoise. Purple is the sasstastic, outspoken, brutally honest girl who only has a couple, equally intimidating friends. But anywho, to answer your question I have thoroughly and deeply considered it and have finally chosen... Blue.
What's a way you would like to say goodbye?
Good day, see you later, until next time, on the morrow, au revoir, toodaloo, I'm leaving for now, goodbye...
Monday, January 4, 2010
World Peace! Abooga-Booga!
FIrst post of the new year everyone! The new decade! That's pretty fricking exciting. It's Sir Isaac Newton's birthday today! In honor of that I shall write a story about science.
Here we go...
The morning of the 15th was sunny, perhaps a little overcast. Not a particular day for a miracle. But Dr. James Hookerhopper was going to make it one. After testing peace potions number 1 through 49 he had finally perfected it. On this day he planned to unleash peace potion number 50 and finally bring what thousands of miss America's had wished for. World peace. Part 1 of the unleashing plan was to find the highest point he could discover. Dr. J scoured the world in search of it, and then one fateful day he decided on the tip top of the Empire State Building's spike. He started the long climb up, peace potion in hand, and after several almost life ending falls, he made it, standing on the tip of his tippy toes, he moved on to part 2: Releasing the peace into the world! He outstretched his arms, took the stopper out of the top, and smashed the bottle with a tiny mallet that he brought along.
And all was forever peaceful.
Here we go...
The morning of the 15th was sunny, perhaps a little overcast. Not a particular day for a miracle. But Dr. James Hookerhopper was going to make it one. After testing peace potions number 1 through 49 he had finally perfected it. On this day he planned to unleash peace potion number 50 and finally bring what thousands of miss America's had wished for. World peace. Part 1 of the unleashing plan was to find the highest point he could discover. Dr. J scoured the world in search of it, and then one fateful day he decided on the tip top of the Empire State Building's spike. He started the long climb up, peace potion in hand, and after several almost life ending falls, he made it, standing on the tip of his tippy toes, he moved on to part 2: Releasing the peace into the world! He outstretched his arms, took the stopper out of the top, and smashed the bottle with a tiny mallet that he brought along.
And all was forever peaceful.
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