A Story You Just Can't Beat!

Hello there!

Here's a story I wrote once... I am not in the blog writing mood so here ya are you little miscreants. Happy Halloween! (It's really quite a shame that this story is not Halloweeny, but what are you gonna do?)

Pitter-Pat

As I walk I hear the soft pitter-pat of my shoes softly tapping the cement with every step, pitter…pat pitter… pat. The sound is so peaceful and somber but so vividly wild all at once. I start to hear soft whispers not too distant. The sound of my feet is just barely audible over the hushed voices. They slowly fade as I walk further. Pitter… pat …pitter …pat. I begin ever so slightly to hear the quaint sound of a violin; it carries a quick tune much faster than the pitter pat of my shoes, I want to stop walking and just stand there and let the beautiful music fill the space around me but I can’t. The more and more I walk, the music becomes faster and louder. Faster. Louder. Faster. Louder. Then it stops within a moment. Pitter… pat… pitter… pat. I hear a sudden shrill noise behind me, and my fear inclines me to run. My soft pitter-patter abruptly becomes wild clanging and clacking as my shoes slam against the pavement. CLANG... CLACK... CLANG... CLACK. I eventually calm myself to bring back the familiar pitter pat. Pitter … pat …pitter … pat. I gradually look up to find that I have reached the place I longed to be. Home.

Dinosaurs Rule My Mind!

Hello there, how art thou? Well, I presume, or at least I hope thou art well. One creepy thing that is happening to me currently is that the little green light on the top of my computer that indicates whether my camera is in use or not, is on. So I ask, dear people, WHO THE HELL IS WATCHING ME?!?! Should I wave or something? How does one go about treating these sort of inconspicuous, creepy situations? Should I cover the camera? Or wildly embrace the nefarious attention? I'm gonna go with the latter. Also! Another thing that I am currently up to is very skillfully procrastinating anything that somewhat resembles homework! It's super totally awesome! Another super-duper exciting thing is that my top, all the way left tooth really, really hurts and I don't know why and it is frustrating and befuddling. Anyway... You know what always looks flippin' delicious?!? The cap'n crunch and pixie stick sandwich that the basket case has for lunch in The Breakfast Club. I wonder if I have any pixie sticks... Okay, well I have a monstrous, world ending headache, so I'm gonna leave. See ya'll on the dark side of the moon!

Boogadaboogadaboogada uh uh uh!

The Greatest Read In A Century

So I just ate a 1-pound Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and my taste buds are going wild with mischievous excitement... but now I really would like a glass of cold water, I should go get one, don'tchya reckon? And as I sit here, partially immobilized by sugar and delight, I am void of subject, so I think I will post the "25 Random Things About Me" from way back when everybody was making those on Facebook. But don't be worried you avid Facebook stalkers of yours truly, I shall edit it a bit...

1. I was the first person to coin the word “Ginormous.” Don't believe me? Well, you're wrong.

2. Sometimes I love the color blue so much I want to be it.

3. I only swear about once a week but I have always desired to be a person that swears a lot, I can just never remember to. It’s a damn pity.

4. About 90% of the time I pronounce my last name wrong. Urgent note to self: *It’s pronounced Ap-stine, not Ap-steen*

5. My hair has been blonde, brown, orange, red, blue, green, pink, and magenta but now is its natural snoozefest color, which is brown. I should make a comeback with some neon Turquoise!

6. If I had an English or Australian accent, I would rule. I would rule everything that is awesome.

7. I would really like to own a state-of-the-art teleportation machine. Any ideas how one goes about getting one of those?

8. If my bed sheet has even the slightest crinkle there is no way I will ever fall asleep in it. Ever.

9. I make bed sheets really crinkly whilst sleeping. It is my own deepest internal struggle.

10. Telekinesis is something I really, really aspire to have. Actually, way more than really. Like whatever is 10 times stronger than extremely.

11. I don’t at all understand people who don’t like to read. They are flippintastic weirdo nutballs!

12. During the middle of the night, I wonder random things, like “I should have picked up that penny earlier, curse you, you penniless idiot!” or “I wonder if the basket case from the Breakfast Club would have been my friend? I sure as hell hope so!”

13. I wish I was King of the Wild Things. BE STILL!

14. If I say “brb” in an instant message conversation it means I probably just don’t want to talk to you, unless I come right back. Or if I say “lol” it means I have been abducted by aliens and replaced with someone that is definitely not me. So don’t believe that laughing imposter!

15. I love to say the same word over and over again in my head until it sounds utterly and completely strange. Spoon spoon spoon spoon spoon spoon. That’s a freaky word. I do not like it any longer.

16. I love to make up ironic situations. Like what if a guy who’s absolute favorite color is blue (like me) has a room where the walls are all yellow (that’s like me too!) Woah, that story was very easy to relate to.

17. I am so happy when I get to write “and/or.” It’s the very best of the 2-word words.

18. I love to jump in leaves and/or crush them under my feet. I like to even more rank the crunchiness on a scale of 1-10! (That was an oddly fragmented sentence)

19. I will never get why anyone would choose to have a mustache. I would only consider it okay if the person had naturally blue hair.

20. I love titles that have colons in them. Example: “Oli: The Tale of Me.”

21. If I grow up to be an actor I will most likely change my name to “Oliver Chase”, “Oliver Young”, or "Chase Young”, which are all tangents of my original name. I think Oliver Chase is the winner.

22. I wish that the concept of daemons from The Golden Compass was real and I would hope mine was a white lion or something badass like that. Or that something that badass was my patronus.

23. I loathe morning people. Come on guys, get a life.

24. My favorite animals are Spider Monkeys. They are the best. I will pay 100 dollars to whomever can get one on my shoulder within the next 5 minutes. Okay, go!

25. I love using semicolons and the rare times I get to use those winky little gems.

The Sweetest Holiday Around

I'm just sitting here, watching a show about morbidly obese people. It's interesting in a very obscure way. I just found out that people with food addictions most likely have a low dose of serotonin. Isn't that fascinating? I think so. They just called someone "580 pounds of attitude", If I was 580 pounds of something, I hope it would be attitude... or fun. I think fun would be better. From now on please refer to me as "580 pounds of fun." And to get to my subject... Today is National Chocolate Day! The best of the national days! And that is kind of a good segway from fat people, so here goes it! I heart chocolate, but doesn't everybody? Actually, I know a few extremely bizarre and strange people that don't, but this post is not for them. So to celebrate this best of holidays I will list some of my favorite ways to consume this scrumdiddilyumptious entrancement of the senses...

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - The all-time, ultimate, best, all-around greatest candy. I would be a Reese's if I could.

Smore's - These little angels don't need any backing up.

Hot chocolate - The best of the chocolate orientated beverages. Except Coke with hot fudge. That's the best. No, I'm just kidding. It's better than the best.

Malted Milk Balls - The best damn things ever. Ever.

Okay goodbye my fair feathered fellas. (I big-time heart alliterations. I wish I could marry one. You could be the flower girl.)

580 pounds of fun, signing off.

A Series About Life, After Life

So hello everyone, I'm feeling a tad under the weather, and to borrow a quote from my oh so wise friend, "It's hard to think while the weather is on top of you" or some variation of that sentence. So I think I will just rant it out. WOAH... So after writing that first little sentence or paragraph or what not, I opened another tab and completely forgot that I had even begun writing this. Crazy, huh?!? I think so. Absolute craziness. So... the other day, I met this dog named Chester, and guess what? He can talk. He's my best and only friend. I'll give you a million dollars if you can guess what my absolute favorite fruit? Aw, no guesses? Well, it's Strawberries. Hey, sorry about the whole no million dollars thing, but honest to god (lower case G) none of you had ANY guesses. Quite a shame. Okay, you can have the million dollars if you can answer this question: Which is my supreme favorite Pokemon? Aw, seriously, no guesses again? Well it's Squirtle, I love that little blue, water Turtle! Ya know what one of my favorite things is? The TV show "Dead Like Me", I curse the aforementioned "god" whenever I remember that it only had 2 seasons and I will never see a new episode of it again, and it is an astronomical shame. The last sentence of the whole outstanding series was "It's not so bad, being dead like me." And I personally think that was a perfect way to end it, but oh Lord how I wish it hadn't. Ended that is. Hmm, I think I'll title this scrumptious little rant one of the taglines from this little bit of television Gold. Now, to get back on the subject of no subject... up on the little edit bar, there is this word called "monetize" and I'm not quite sure what it means, which doesn't happen to me that often. Also, I'm sitting at a very strange angle, thus causing me to type slowly and uncomfortably. Okay, I am gonna go wallow in my sickness and uncomfortable typeness. Oh wondrous joy!

Until the morrow...

A Brief Moment of Having a Subject

Hey... Guess what? I actually have something to talk about today, not just one of those oh so wonderful nonsensical rants that I know you love. Now... I know some people go ape shit over collecting seemingly stupid things like a piece of paper with a picture of some ball thrower on it, or a few dusty old antiques, but that is not my cup o' tea. (that's a weird expression, I'm not sure if I like it or not. I don't think I do) I am not usually the type of person who gets all giddy adding more to a collection, but there is one exception, (was that a rhyme?!) one thing that I actually do devote extra pennies too. Digital Video Discs. Or for you none in-the-know folks, DVD's. I just love em'. I started this collection I'd say about a year ago or so and it has grown exponentially. There's some DVD's that I have that I haven't even watched yet, isn't that crazy?!? I love it. Do you? I wish a mysterious stranger who doesn't speak much and is surrounded by ominous smoke would walk up to me and hand me 100 dollars and say "Y'know, you're such a great guy and all, so I was thinking you should have this. But be forewarned, if you don't spend it on DVD's, grave and terrible thing will happen." And take note that that last part is supposed to be said in a spooky ghost voice, for dramatic effect and all that neeto stuff. To give some closure to this moment of collection, let me go and count how many DVD's I have anywho... 102. (Another rhyme. Yippee!) That's the big number. I consider that impressive, don't you?

So I wonder when that mysterious stranger will come visit bearing that 100 bucks... hopefully soon.

Oh, and don't you little peons worry, more rants coming to a computer near you. So I hope you enjoyed this brief moment of having something to talk about (I've kind of said goodbye 5 or 6 times) because we all now it won't last long!

Up, Up, and Away!

Oh man... Blogging always seems to slip my ferocious little mind whenever that dastardly day named Sunday rolls around. It seems my blog has become a constant slew of rants and never quite seem to have a point or reason. And I must say, I am quite enjoying it. Speaking of that kooky day Sunday, I kinda hate it. I mean, it's a constant anticipation to the worst of days, Monday, DUN DUN DUN! I am all out of any sort of interesting topics so I will try to make this snappy. I just heard a really kind of creepy and somewhat foreign noise escape from the corner of my room. Do you think it's a monster or a Blue alien that wants to be my best friend? I'm hoping for the latter. Speaking of latters, I wish there was a ladder to the moon that I could climb and climb and climb and eventually reach that wonderful sphere made of cheese. Except there is one problem, I don't like cheese. Axe that plan, would ya? I wish I could be a Cheetah for a day, and run fast like the wind and be free as a bird, or something else that is generally free. How about air? That's the freest thing around. Freest? Is that the spelling of Free-est? I think so. No Red squiggley line under it. Well I promised I'd make it snappy (Did I promise? I don't remember ever promising that) so I have to keep that promise. (What promise is he talking about?)

It seems I've developed a separate personality that comes out to visit when I write blogs. (<--- LIES!)

Okay, good bye now loop-dee-doops!

Make Like a Tree and Leaf!

Nothing to discuss, nothing to discuss. What shall I discuss? Nothing? Okay. It's almost Halloween everyone. I am not particularly fond of this holiday, the only thing I enjoy about it is Candy Corn, which I have had none of. What an extreme pity. Can one of you guys bring me some? Okay? Thanks. You're too kind. I am currently wearing a thick, long sleeved shirt and I am wishing it was a thin, short sleeved shirt. I need to become more decisive on my shirt picking outing. I don't think I can finish this blog post without changing said shirt, one moment please....... aw, that's a relief. Last night, I watched the Tim Burton Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I made the following observation: The Buckets are not a nice little family with high morals, they are a bunch of hobos stuffed in a little shanty house. The costume designers even went as far as giving them fingerless gloves. Their walls are completely slanted, and they don't even get the newspaper delivered, Charlie has to take one out of a trash! Even when Mr. Bucket has his job at the toothpaste company, they still are all hobotastic! Come to think of it, I actually like this aspect of the Bucket family... go figure. Mmm, I want some chocolate right now. Can you guys pick some up when you're getting the Candy Corn? Who do you think would win in a fight, me or Xena Warrior Princess? Probably me. Right now is the first time in my life where I have had a working watch. And I must say, it is wonderful. I think that is the main reason why I would beat Xena, she doesn't have an awesome possum watch like me. I can say Pineapple in Spanish. Wanna hear? Piña. I'm impressed with myself that I know how to make one of those squiggles show up over the n. You wish you were that talented. You do, honestly.

Candy Corn, Shantys, Warrior Princesses, oh my!

See you on the flip side.

Liger-tastic!

Hello my outrageous little peons! I wonder how much I could tell you about Ligers without googling or wikipedia-ing them. Fact: Ligers are a hybrid of Lions and Tigers. We all know that, but what percentage of a Liger is Lion and what percentage is a Tiger? You may think it doesn't matter but you are incredibly mistaken. Fact: Liger is a real word, I know you know that, so how come my computer puts the little red squiggly line under it? Fact: Ligers can't reproduce. I'm sorry for making you all suicidal, but its a fact. Fact: In the future, Ligers will make up the Supreme Court. Fuck you Sonia Sotomayor (Kidding, love that chica!). Fact: Lony the Liger as a cereal spokesperson has been banned in 27 countries because of prejudice against interanimal relations and indecent exposure. Now that you know all you need to know about these wondrous beasts, I shall let you in on a little secret. Now, you have to promise not to tell... anyone. I am 2/6 Liger. Don't believe me? Ask me to see my tail next time you see me. Oh, and you should hear my magnificent roar. It's considered top notch in the roar department, ask Roar Specialist Rory Rawrstein. To top it off, a picture:

What the What?

Oh wondrous people of the internet. It is so nice to see you here. I hope your day has been fine and dandy. So let's get cracking shall we? What shall we get cracking about? I don't know, you don't know, none of us know. I just looked up and saw my Voldemort poster which resides on the ceiling and boldly states "You Will Lose Everything" and for a second there I thought I was gonna lose everything. What a shame that would be. I think it's about time Diet Coke changes their can design, I've been looking at the same Silver and Red everyday for about as long as I can remember. Why don't they make it like neon Blue and Green, that would just fill my life with joy. Any of you bright-eyed fellas ever read "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"? It's a wonderful, supertastic book and when I rant like this it reminds me of Oskar. I love that kid. Sometimes I wonder if the same color I see is the same as what everyone else sees. Like what if my Purple is someone else's Orange? That would be freaky and awesome. I love when people call other people "kooks." I'm gonna start calling people that. It's such a great word, Don't you agree? I agree. I wonder what I shall title this nonsensical blog post. Hmm... Any ideas? No? Okay, I'll move on then. I love when you eat or smell something a lot when you are watching or doing a particular thing and then it always reminds you of that thing. For instance, whenever I watch the show "Dead Like Me" I always seem to eat dried seaweed. So, now, whenever I eat dried seaweed, it reminds me of that fantastical show. Mmm, I wish I had some seaweed right now. I wonder what color shirt I'll wear tomorrow. Right now I'm wearing a Baby Blue shirt, how monumentally thrilling is that?!? In the past week I have watched The Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire, and Pretty In Pink. How 80's-tastic am I? Oh man, how I wish Lost was on sooner than January. You know how much I wish that? How much is the biggest wish? Whatever that is, it's about ten times more than that. Yeah, I'd say that's about right.

Okay you Kooks, it's time for me to go. Wallawallabingbang!

Some Amazingly Fun Super-Activities!

Here are a few things that would just be a world of fun!

Living in a place where a monotone voice announces everything you do in the first person. It could be called the Film Noir house.

Riding on the back of a Griffin. That would be so incredibly thrilling and mythical.

Being able to be a character in any movie and live the span of the movie and be able to be yourself again once the credits roll. I want to do that so bad, I don't even know an adjective to express how much.

Owning a machine that you can type in a flavor, and that flavor Jellybean comes out. Love me some Balsamic Vinaigrette Jellybeans!

Me being in charge of designing what Google looks like for certain holidays. Christmas would be decked out!

Having a costume of one of the Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are.

A world where I don't make typos. What an overwhelming relief that would be! Typos be stressing me out!

Going on an adventure through space and time.

Having a Wizard duel. I would flawlessly win of course.

Being a majestic Horse galloping through luscious Green fields. It's sounds boring at first, but imagine if you were an Orange Horse!

Being able to just say things and have them be written down or typed. Everything would just move so efficiently faster.

Having a Leprechaun always perched on my shoulder making wise cracks about everyone I see and interact with.

Conducting intricate mind games on unknowing average people from a super awesome little room with cameras and a loud speaker to talk to them, the winner would get a Pony! I know this one sounds a tad creepy but you know you so want to be in that room with me saying indirect, mysterious riddles.

Okay, that is enough for now, I'm gonna go find that Leprechaun.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

Oh hello! Fancy meeting you here. Do you bear gifts? I hope so, I love presents. Just in case you were wondering, the GHQ, and W keys are all still quite dirty looking, I don't think my fingers are extra dirty, in fact, I'm pretty sure I wash my hands more than the average John or Sally. What to discuss, what to discuss... I gotta say, I am not fond of the lighting in my room currently, it's not quite dark or light. It just is kind of dull. Hmmm... I have 12 top teeth, how thrilling is that?!?!? How about those staplers? Pretty boring appliance right there, don't you think? I would like to entitle this blog post a quote from Where the Wild Things are but that was the title of yesterdays, so I'm not sure. Aww, the hell with it! Do you think Mother Goose was actually a Goose? And well I'm on that subject, don't ya'll wish that the plural of Goose was Geese? I sure as hell do! You know who I absolutely adore? Captain Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean. People always say they love Jack, which I do, but the Pirate King Swann needs some love too. I like this. I think from now on whenever I have no specific subject to discuss, I will just let the word flow out. It's quite a joy. For the past few days I've had "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out" stuck in my head and it is tremendously wonderful I must say. I hear in Norway or somewhere bizarre like that that you can sleep in the Ikea show rooms. Don't you really want to do that? I think it would be really fun and creepy all at once! I've never had Fondu but I think if I did, I would throw up. I'd rather fondon't. Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Co- MOO! Did you fellas know that Anne Hathaway was the name of Shakespeare's wife? I wonder if she played an unknowing romantic comedy princess. Why do you build me up, build me up, Buttercup baby, just to let me down, let me down, and mess me around? Lions are to super awesome as I am to running out of things to say. Is it time for me to go? Everyone who thinks I should stop here don't raise your hands..... Okay well it seems the time has come for me to leave you my fair feathered friends. Alliteration, Go! Go! Go!

Until we meet again young ones, Oliver the Great

I'll Eat You Up I Love You So!

Oh bloggy bloggy blog, how do you do today? I'm doing pretty okay, thanks for asking. So I have joined you here today to procrastinate the last bit of my homework, isn't that wonderful? The front of my Biology book has a giant bug on it, or maybe it's a tiny bug just really magnified. I wonder why that is, I kinda hate it. As I'm typing this I'm realizing that my G, H, Q, and W key are quite dirty. It's perplexing. It's not like I use those keys more than any other, I highly doubt there is a word that can be made out of those four letters. Whgq? Nope, that's definitely not a word. Woah, I'm getting way off subject, but was there even a subject to begin with? I don't think so. I'm perfectly on subject it seems. I really hate Mondays, don't you guys? If you would like to hear a longer, more in depth description of this hate, see blog post entitled "A Bad Case of the Mondays". What are some of your favorite words? I'm trying to decide what mine are. I like the word gargantuan, but that's never gonna come up in conversation. I also fancy the word farrago, but when was the last time you heard anyone utter that gem? Sometimes I think about Elephants, I think about how fun it would be to ride one. And imagine if the elephant was Blue? That would triple, maybe quadruple the fun. Who else is terrified of the dark? This guy is. Should I not have admitted that? Well, it's too late now. If you are super awesome and have read all of my blogs then you would know how much I adore 80's teen movies. I kind of really want to marry Ally Sheedy. From back then, not now. I probably shouldn't be so quick to say that, maybe I would marry her now. But the point is I would marry 80's her in a heartbeat. I really didn't mean for this rant to go on for so long, but what the hell? I'm having fun, are you? You better be. You know how much I wish there was a Spider Monkey on my shoulder right now? However much is a lot, and then some. Oh and to make a quick callback to the thing about my favorite words, I also love the word juxtaposition, although I have never been quite certain what it means. Okay, it is time for me to depart. I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Until we meet again, Oli

And PS, the title of this blog is a quote from Where the Wild Things Are, in case you lovelies were wondering.

Geoffrey and Tony: A Peculiar Tale

Seeing as how I am completely drained of blog writing ability, I will share this story I wrote with you.... It is entitled "Geoffrey and Tony".

Once there was a llama that lived on Old Mill Farm and his name was Geoffrey, with a G. Geoffrey’s best friend, who was a wild boar whose name was Tony, had a very large heart and smelled things frequently. One day when he was smelling Geoffrey, which he often performed, he noticed a peculiar scent, he then knew this was the smell of blood, cumbered with fear, he leaped back and noticed a peculiar bird eating Geoffrey. Tony leaped up in a peculiar fashion and bit the peculiar avian creature. Then and there Tony became familiar with his everlasting love of poultry. Geoffrey later bled to death in a peculiar fashion. Old Mill Farm was never the same again, which is quite peculiar. Some years later, Tony evolved into a fish, being a fish he learned to scuba dive, which was his dream since adolescence. One day when he was combing the reefs, he noticed a peculiar scent; it was the smell of buttered popcorn, which Tony thought smelled peculiarly delicious. He ate it and then went to sleep. And all was fine and dandy on the Tony front. Good night.

A Brief Ponder of Life's Conundrums: The Sequel

After pondering it for a minute or two I came to the conclusion that writing the original "A Brief Ponder of Life's Conundrums" was by far the most fun and enjoyable, so I have so graciously decided to embark on this endeavor for the second time...

1. I have so much Coca-Cola paraphernalia in my house. Why is that? It's very strange.

2. What is this peculiar taste that is in my mouth currently?

3. Why was Where the Wild Things Are so amazing?

4. How come they call them apartments if they are all stuck together?

5. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? They're totally opposite.

6. How come there is so many fonts? It's overwhelming to the max!

7. Why is there a boring Documentary on the TV right now?

8. The color Blue, why does it rock so much?

9. How come Diet Coke is an incredibly delicious miracle elixir?

10. Why are Otters so incredibly cute?

11. Woah. I just looked up at the TV and an Otter was on screen. How come that amazing coincidence happened?

12. When will Christmas be here? Very soon I hope.

13. An Anteater is now on-screen. Why are they so freaky looking?

And now, you wonderful, surreptitious people, I shall so chivalrously try to provide some answers...

1. I'm not sure why but I kinda love it.

2. Hmmm... I think it's Tofu Bacon.

3. Due to the combined talent of Spike Jonze, Dave Eggers, Maurice Sendak, and that incredibly talented little boy, Max Records.

4. There is probably some explanation that probably doesn't make much sense. Probably, probably, probably.

5. I have no idea and I bet there is a fat and slim chance that I will never find out.

6. Well that has to do with a major, nefarious font conspiracy that the font companies are behind, but that's a story for another day.

7. Because I am not in control of the clicker.

8. Because it is beautiful. And because Yellow and Orange suck so much.

9. I don't know but I want to go drink some right now.

10. No particular reason but I really wish I had one as a pet.

11. It was pretty amazingly freaky. I hope it happens again some time.

12. This one, I actually have a good answer to. December 25th. I hope it brings it's friend the cold with it!

13. Due to their incredibly long nose and extremely strange eating habits.

And once again, I have answered all the mysteries of life. I hope there's gonna be a threequel!

Aquariumtastic!

So today, I went to the Aquarium of the Pacific, and I took a fair number of pictures and a couple videos, and I would like to share some with you now...

On the way there, as I was uncomfortably crammed in the back of the car, I came upon one of those magnetic sand writers, I'm not sure what they are called exactly, but I found one. And after drawing several sketches, this symbol suddenly appeared. I am now the master of the Deathly Hallows. Exciting, huh?!?

Once I arrived at the aquarium, I was overjoyed to see the many different and exotic types of fish. This one made me particularly sad seeing as Finding Nemo is one of my all-time favorite Disney movies....

So after seeing more than my fair share of Fish, Sharks, Birds, Crabs, and Sea stars, I went to check out the gift shop. Two particular items caught my eye, the first, was this...

When I first saw "Oceanic Express" so proud and noble, I thought the toy must be a submarine... Turns out trains can be "oceanic" too. Perplexing.

And the second...

I really have no words for this one, poo paper? A definite must buy item.

Here is a picture I took on the ride home, I hope it is!

And finally, a short film I have entitled, "Bodacious Bottom Feeder".

And Now a Bit of Randomness

So as I was sitting here, void of a new topic. I noticed that in the corner, where I write in a few of the keywords of the main thing I am discussing, there is some examples of keywords. They are as follows...

• Scooters

• Vacation

• Fall

I do not have a particular strong fondness for any of these things, but seeing as I am completely fresh out of new ideas, I shall discuss them.

First off, is Scooters. I have not ridden one in some time. Actually, come to think of it, I really would like to. Scooter time anyone?

The second oh so tantalizing topic is vacation. If I would have to pick one of the three, I'd say this one is the best. Who doesn't love a little vacay?

Last and kind of the most least, is fall. I would have to admit, it is my least favorite season. School starts, you get chapped lips, nature suddenly becomes Brown, no longer beautiful Green, and no super awesome holidays happen (unless you count Halloween, and if you do, I don't think we can be friends any longer. No, I'm just kidding, Candy Corn is pretty damn tasty.)

And now, my dear, dear friends, I shall go, and leave you to ponder these three wonderful, awe inspiring topics.

Here's to examples, Oli

5 Books I Wish Existed

This subject is currently intriguing me because I have just started reading a more in depth, novelization of the beloved children's book "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak. It is also based on the movie that is coming out Friday, which I simply cannot wait any longer for. So here are some other interesting book topics that I would quite enjoy reading...

• A sort of prequel to "The Giver." The founding of the community, how the first giver came to be, where the hell is elsewhere?!? It could be called "The Community."

• A serious novelization of many Dr. Seuss books. That would be frickin' interesting!

• The Harry Potter series from the perspective of Voldemort. It could be very creepy and maybe even inspire some unexpected sympathy at some point.

• A story depicting the life of a painting. It'll be so boring, it's fascinating!

• A book about what life is like living in Candy Land. Admit it, you would buy that bestseller instantly.

I hope some future skilled writers suddenly get the inclination to write these, that would make me a very happy reader.

Putting pen to paper, Oli

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So as you probably already know, I love a lot of different TV shows, but what's my absolute favorite you ask? I'll tell ya, it's a little show called Lost. This show, I must say, is a masterpiece. I have watched it since the day it premiered and I am anxiously counting down the days until the final season begins in January, it cannot come any sooner. So as to celebrate this amazing show I will recount some of my favorite moments...

Take note that if you don't watch and love the show like I do, most of these will probably bore or confuse you, my deepest apologies...

• The Monster eating the pilot... Very quickly I might add.

• The reveal of Sun being a deceitful bilingual.

• The French distress call playing on a loop for 16 years.

• The shocking news that Locke was bound to a wheelchair before crashing on The Island, that doesn't make a speck of sense... yet.

• The first time that "The Monster" was revealed in all it's smoky glory.

• Finding out that the thing Sawyer has shot and killed is a... Polar Bear.

• The simultaneous climax of Claire giving birth and Boone dying. Oh the circle of life.

• When they finally blow open the hatch and that eerie white light appears.

• Locke dosen't push the button. Desmond turns a key. The hatch implodes.

• Seeing Flight 815 falling out of the sky from the perspective of The Others. Who the hell are these people?!?

• "NOT PENNY'S BOAT"

• Bearded Jack in the future? How perplexing.

Okay, I'm gonna stop with the 3rd season because if I allowed myself to go on and add more, this list would get way too long and frankly, I'm a little tired of having to make that little bullet appear.

And to end this I would like to quickly mention my favorite character. The master of all deception and manipulation, Ben Linus, may you be overly dramatic and stare creepily into or eyes for what is to be a great last season.

Jacob loves you, Oli

A Bad Case of the Mondays

Oh Monday, Monday, Monday, how I loathe thee. Why does it always seem like the most boring or frustrating of days fall upon you? Do you enjoy being constantly criticized for your poor nature? I bet you don't. I bet you say that you didn't choose to be the first day of the week, that you never asked to bear the burden of the end of the weekend. But even though you never requested these things, or even if you were forced into it, we all still hate you. And there is no avoiding this hate. I bet your pal Wednesday tries to cheer you up by telling you that he, in fact, is the worst day, for heaven's sake, he never gets any special placing like you do, being at the beginning of the week and all, unless you count being called "Hump Day." I bet you plea that, on rare occasions, you are Christmas, or Halloween, or the 4th of July, but you know what? Everyday has been those before, you're not so special. So please dear Monday, in all your icky glory, can you go away today and bring back your friend Saturday? Everybody would probably like you better if you hung around that guy a little more. He's so fun and fresh, you could learn a thing or two from him. So take the things I've said to heart Mr. Day, and don't come back in any way.

Waiting for Saturday, Oli

A Short, Impromptu Rant

Hey everyone! How are you super folks doing this evening? I realized a little while ago that I had not written anything on here today, and that will just not do. I'm feeling a little uncreative in the writing area right now so I think I'm just gonna sorta rant this one out, if that makes sense. So where to begin? Let's start with the beginning. Was it The Big Bang or Adam and Eve? What do you think happened? I think what really happened is something more like the Big Bang than some leaf wearing rule breakers. Do I have the authority to say that? Should I expect smiting? Well anywho where was I? Oh yeah. Nowhere. I think I might need a haircut, yes/no? Well I just started an episode of Fringe so I should probably go.... Nice talking at you. Hopefully some more creativity will be flowing through this brain of mine tomorrow.

Live Long and Prosper, Oli

A Brief Ponder of Life's Conundrums

Well I am suffering this horrible case of Writer's Block, I shall ponder some things...

1. Why is the sky blue?
2. Why are the keys on a keyboard not in alphabetical order?
3. How come we live on Earth? Why not Mars or somewhere super awesome like that?

4. How can some people enjoy Rap?

5. Why am I not attending Hogwarts right now?

6. How come the TV show "Dead Like Me" only had 2 seasons? It's absurd.

7. When did the phrase "sex sells" turn into "vampires sell"?

8. Why is Lost not on until January?

9. How did Markus Zusak become the greatest novelist ever?

10. How exactly did Sirius Black escape from Azkaban?

11. Will I be able to finish my homework today?

12. How come my room's walls are Yellow? I hate that color.

And now I shall try to provide some answers my dear friends...

1. I have been told it's like the reflection of the ocean or some crap like that. I don't believe it.

2. I think the real answer is some technical computer thing but I think it's just to screw with me.

3. Who says we NEED water?

4. I cannot fathom any answer to this.

5. Because the Universe hates me.

6. Because people would rather watch a bunch of C-list celebrities be told that they are being fired by Donald Trump then watch a show with some real substance and quality.

7. I'm not sure. Probably when having a purse sized dog became "in."

8. To torture me into oblivion.

9. Because he is just a gosh-darn genius!

10. That my friends, shall forever remain a tantalizing mystery.

11. Perhaps some, definitely not all.

12. To give me a slight sense of displeasure every time I step into my room.

And there you have it, the mysteries of life finally revealed. Enjoy.

Superman and Harry Potter: My Most Inspiring Heroes

Besides desperately longing to be these two extraordinary individuals, I also greatly admire and idolize them. Whether it's the little boy in the closet under the stairs who eventually single handedly defeats the greatest dark wizard of all time, or the awkward farmboy who grows up to be The Man of Steel, saver of worlds, both are classic and incredibly noble heroes. If pop culture is wise enough, will be remembered for many, many generations. I am forever in awe over the unexpected and tricky use of heat vision against Lex Luthor's latest two-bit henchmen. Or the very skillful and powerful wield of Expelliarmus that always seems to save the day. And to end this paragraph of honor, I would like to mention their creators: Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the creators of The Man of Tomorrow, and JK Rowling, the conjurer of The Boy Who Lived.

And now... Some similarities:

• Both were horrifically orphaned as small children.

• Both had sheltered beginnings: Smallville and Number 4, Privet Drive.

• Both eventually get the girl.

• Both of their greatest enemies' are bald and quite good at being nefarious.

• They both somehow are associated with the color Red.

Some honorable mentions...

- Spiderman

- Albus Dumbledore

- Professor Xavier

- Dr. Walter Bishop

Let's Go For a Very Trippy Ride

I'm going to tell you a very weird belief of mine that the TV show Fringe has helped me further develop. I believe that on top of, next to, and around this reality that we all live in, is multiple separate and different ones, some being monumentally different and some only containing very, very slight changes. One idea that Fringe has presented to me that I find very intriguing is that when we experience deja vu's, that we are actually catching a quick glimpse of one of those reality's. The idea is that we have done or seen the thing before, just a different version of ourselves from a slightly different reality. I like to think that these reality's are innumerable, that any scenario you could think of, exists in one of them. For instance, in one, I could have been born with Blonde hair, or I could have never even been born at all. In another there could be flying cars, or talking bears. There could be one where reading books is highly frowned upon and doing so makes you an outcast. (let's hope none of us ever accidentally slip into that one) There could even be one where humans don't live on Earth, how about the Moon? That'd be fun, right? Okay, before I get a little too crazy with this, I'd like to go back a few steps. Do you believe in this obscure and somewhat crazy believe of mine? If you don't, why don't you try to open your mind up to the possibility of radical things like this, it might make you better prepared for when you accidentally fall into one of these dimensions.

It was nice talking with you, Oli out.

The Best of All Possible Worlds

A world in which I would be happiest would go something like this:

• I have a pet flying Blue horse who talks.

• Moral fiber earns a salary.

• You can tell a person's mood from their very own personal weather above their head.

• People having two arguing heads is common place.

• I also have a pet Spider Monkey... Who is best friend's with the talking horse.

• In which medical technology has become so advanced that a conversation would go like this:
"I think I might have Cancer."
"Well have you taken some Advil?"
"Yeah, just a few minutes ago."
"Then what's the problem?"

• Omit of all the incredibly useless slang in today's society.

• Hogwarts exists and I'm a graduate.

• Pokemon actually exist.

Of course, there are many, many other things that would be part of this wonderful, wonderful world but these are some of the best things about it and the one's that happen to pop into my head in this particular time and space.

Let's hope it all comes true, until next time, Oli

My Best Bud Mr. Sun

I present to you, my dear people, the sun. Without him, it would feel as if you had just jumped off the Titanic at all times and you would live in a world of everlasting eery darkness, and we all know that nobody likes the dark, even if they say they do. Even though I love the sun for his immense power and unbeatable suaveness, there is someone I like much more. My more flaky friend, the ever aloof Rain, he doesn't like to visit too often, and even when he does, he doesn't stick around very long, which is really disheartening to us who love his oh so sporadic visits. (I might have just made the same point twice, but you forgive me, right?) Okay, so what was I saying? Oh yeah, the rain. He might not be as friendly as the funky fresh sun but he sure is a lot more fun! (ooh, a rhyme, I am on a roll today!) So whether you're a Sun lover or a Rain lover, or one of those weirdos who actually DOES love the dark, I urge you right now to say a little thank you to our best bud Mr. Sun, And if you feel so inclined to give this wonder of a fella a present, just remember... His favorite candy is Twix bars and he absolutely adores the smell of Tulips. Thank you, and good day.

The Joy of the 80's Teen

Teen movies from the 80's, oh how I love thee. Each and everyone is a treasure to behold. Their frivolous and outrageous plots are some of the best, they could cheer someone up from any bad mood. (Did that just rhyme? Behold and mood? Yeah... Awesome) So anywho, here are a list of my absolute favorites of this enchanting genre...

• The Breakfast Club

• Ferris Bueller's Day Off

• Weird Science

• Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

• Pretty In Pink

• Sixteen Candles

Each and everyone of these extremely enthralling films could be called a classic, this amazing standard of teen-based movies could never be rivaled in substance and heart by the likes of Twilight or the ever bubbly High School Musical.

So I ask you dear people, let's bring this genre back...

And to end this thought, I would like to quote my dear friend Ferris...

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Procrastination: A Love Letter

My dearest Procrastination,

You are always there for me when I most need you, and even when I don't. You always encourage me to do things "just for me" like reading a book that I've been putting off, or updating and checking my Facebook and Twitter. You always come first in my life, no matter how frivolous your requests are. Who cares about writing persuasive essays when there's desks and drawers to be organized? What good are A+ grades when walking around aimlessly is so easy and fun? Why don't we go for a bike ride instead of answering these questions about the ancient Chinese dynasties? That would be fun. Oh Procrastination, how I miss you whilst you are gone, life is so monotonous and dull without you in it, please come back to me soon.

Your love, forever and always, Oli

My New Television Love

So... About 2 weeks ago, I started watching this old show free online called "Dead Like Me". I very faintly remembered it from little glimpses I caught of it when I was little. The only things I I could recall about it were as follows...

1. It was a quirky black comedy.

2. It was about a girl who dies and becomes a grim reaper.

Sounded pretty good so I pressed play...

2 Weeks Later:

• I own the the whole series on DVD. (There were only 2 seasons, one of the tragedies of my life. Exaggeration? I think not)

• It is officially ranked as my 2nd favorite show. (Below Lost, but not by far at all, which is something I'd never thought I'd say)

• I am already planning on re-watching the entire series again in about a month.

• I have a poster of it coming in the mail and I just wish the goddamn mailmen wouldn't drive so goddamn slow! (I don't know if this is actually a thing, but it works for the sake of the point I am trying to make, no?)

So welcome to my current state of thought, come back again soon.

Hopefully they'll get a tad longer.