Hello! Have seen you in awhile, have I? Nope, I don't think so. So hello my friends, I hope thou art well. This just in: It's Christmas eve! A Christmas story to follow shortly...
So Santa's best friend, the Easter bunny, who's real name is Jack, was having a rough year. His wife of 516 years, the tooth fairy decided that she wasn't that into rabbit's with chicken fetishes, so she up and left, his Costco supply of eggs had finally run out, and he had a falling out with the chocolate God and was frantically searching for a new beloved sweet. Santa wanted to cheer his oldest of friends up so he decided to let ol' Jack take over his holiday. Feeling elated for the fist time since Jesus had his comeback, Jack came to the workshop and started telling all the elves not to make toys anymore, "That nonsense is overrated." he said, "from now on, you shall all be taking any egg-like thing you can find and coloring it like madmen." With Santa on vacay, the helpless elves were forced to do the monotonous and un-merry task. Come Christmas eve, the furry bastard had replaced the reindeer with chickens and painted the sleigh bright purple. He hoped in it and took off. Every damn house he flew over, he would just drop a few of his ill colored eggs and be done with it.
On Christmas morning, when thousands of cheery families awoke to greet the joyous day, they all discovered that their houses had been egged!
And so I say to you: never trust a guy who eats to much chocolate.
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