For the Parallels of Fondness

Well well well. We meet again. Scoundrel! Rapscallion! Those seemed like appropriate words to shout at this time. You should all take some time to be grateful for the fact that I do this blog thing every day, because I'm a really important person. I mean, have you seen me? I know it's hard to look sometimes, and you may be forced to shield your eyes, but glory has to be soaked in sometimes. I'm just so goddamn beautiful. It's like someone sculpted me out of ivory. Maybe it was that Pygmalion guy. Enough with the narcissism, lets get down to brass tacks. Oh, you didn't bring any? Well that's quite alright! I've got plenty to spare. One word I would use to describe myself is... majestic. Yeah, that's the one. Take a good, hard look at me. Majestic, no? Once, a gal on the street told me I was like nothing she'd ever seen. Way to go and make a man feel great chiquita banana! You know what my favorite movie of all time is? Napoleon Dynamite. Wow there are some scenes in that shit that I just can't help but be obsessed with. It makes me want to fly over a rainbow and travel to Candyland. And it fills my tummy with gumdrops. Just thinking about it made me feel like lying in a bed of flowers. Oh flowers, sweet flikas. How I love thee and thy sweeteth odors. I wimper as I watch you wither and brown. Oh me oh my, how the time goes by. How clever am I with this rhyming shit? Does the word 'fondle' originate from 'fondness'? Just curious. Raise your hand if your favorite character from Star Trek is Bones! Mine too! You know who I just absolutely completely j'adore?! Miley Cyrus. What a gem. Oh Miles, you silly girl. Alright y'all, time to go spend some time in front of a mirror. *Me time!* Muah!