9 Cringe Worthy Facebook Statuses

Here are some of the most common and certainly most annoying Facebook statuses you have, and will encounter:

1. Noun and <3 (Oli Apstein is movies <333)

First of all, no one cares. Second, why the extra 3's? Is it some kind of freaky mutant heart? What's with the fucked up fragmenting? Why can't you just say "I *less than 3* movies?

2. Excessive letters (Oli Apstein is my friendsss are so awesomeeeeee)

Shut up. Anyone who tolerates that is most likely not an awesome friend.

3. Acronyms (Oli Apstein is OMG watching the grinch stole christmas LOL LOL)

This, is my ultimate dislike in humanity. High up there with the despicable likes of "legit" and "epic fail". Are you really laughing out loud? No. You aren't. You are just being an idiot. 

4. Vague inside jokes (Oli Apstein is that party was like totally fish sticks lol Sarah and Kevin)

Sarah and Kevin are the only people in the entire universe who even remotely care. Why speak this publicly to about 500 people. They're annoyed, curious, and they think you're a tool.

5. Quotes among friends. (Oli Apstein is "Is that a tiny cake?" - me. "No, that's definitely a cupcake" - Kevin)

Even when I take the time to read these I find myself disliking the person more and more.

6. Song lyrics (Oli Apstein is "I'm Made of bones of the branches The boughs and the brow-beating light")

You probably don't even know what this means and just want people to think you are deep. And to those people who post numerous different stanzas, I find myself wanting to find the song writer just so I can befriend him/her and eventually have him/her comment on the status saying it means something totally different then what this person thought it did. Who's with me?

7. Improper Grammar. (Oli Apstein is Oh my god Bob your so cool that you went to there party.)

Beofre you go and boldy state something to all of your "friends" make sure that you are able to tell the difference between a contraction and a possessive. Go to a library, find a dictionary, and look up there, their, and they're. Then come back and tell us "What's on your mind?".

8. Ungodly Spelling errors. (Oli Apstein is Skool was so hard today, hope tomarrows beter.)

Get a life.

9. Abbreviating to save time I assume. (Oli Apstein is 2day was sch a gd day. I luv life.)

The worst one of this category is when these horrible, horrible people say "wait" as "wate." That's the exact same amount of letters. You should not be allowed to be around any sort of writing or scribing tool.

That is all. I have never had so many red squiggles.